This article from the Guardian is about being assertive v being aggressive.
StokeyMark has hit on something - most of us are unaware of
(or unwilling to admit) our behaviour is unhelpful to
others, whether that's 'shy', 'assertive' or 'aggressive'... Definitions depend on your personal point of view - what's 'aggressive' for one person can just be 'assertive' to someone else. Also depends on the type and culture of the organisation.
Unfortunately none of us sees ourselves as others see us - it's always someone else who's behaving badly, right?
That's why it's so important to find out how others see us - we need to know!
Even the super confident Apprentice candidates got an inkling that they might not have been absolutely brilliant all the time..
http://www.track360feedback.com/2009/06/09/the-apprentice-holding-up-a-professional-mirror-with-feedback/